Return to Nowhere

It was not supposed to happen this fast
No second comings and never looking back
I'm not ready and neither are you
Just talk about constellations and gods old and new
Get lost in a sweaty maze, minds a single haze
When dawn breaks, I'll be gone for good

But we couldn't just let go, could we?
We fell in love with the reflections in the mirror
Through the looking glass we wasted our newfound youth
Knowing full well the way back home led to nothing but hard truth
Now Narcissus is drowned, the king is dethroned
And only the past awaits in the desolation that is home

We willfully chose to ignore the ten of swords
But the tower always hung in the background
And now it's time to pick up the shards
and build myself up from the razed ground

This is not the first --
nor will it be the last --
time I have to reinvent myself

This is not the first --
but it will be the last --
time I let you pierce my mortal flesh

Mahogany eyes keep haunting my slumber
But the light of day hits my bed just wrong
The spell is broken, the sigil unspoken
Filled your travel pouch with blessings and longing
Now I'm claiming them back
You're not worthy of the promises heavy around your neck

It's not easy to get back on my feet
And turn my back to this burning pile left behind
Soon the embers will die and the ashes will fly
Like the memory of a dream that was not quite so bright
When this plague dies down, I'll have survived
I refuse to let your hand cast the last strike

And like the gods of old I might succumb for now
But return to die again a thousand times over
Winter always ends and I can't wait to see
The colors of the spring that will bloom inside of me

This is not the first --
nor will it be the last --
time I have to relearn myself

This is not the first --
but it will be the last --
time I burn myself at stake for you