13.8.10

Trial and error - a poem

I was feeling too alone for my own sake.

You said you missed me
And I started to dream again

Just a nostalgic spell
That's all you mean to me
And I keep telling myself it's more than that.

I feel sometimes
Like I need to be in love to feel alive
And you've became my escape route
Because you got so close to me.

I desire your body
I miss your touch upon my skin
And I know in my bones
We're gonna be together for a while
And be gone.

Because as much as I love you
I'm sure as hell it'll never be
As much as you love me
I know it isn't enough to keep us together
'Cause distance is a bitch
And we both are nothing but whores

Do you believe you could be mine and mine alone?
I don't think so.
Do you think I could be faithful to you?
We know it just won't happen.
It doesn't matter how many times I whisper in your ear
I love you so much it hurts
As soon as I come back, I'd still fuck someone else

As soon as I turn my back
You'll be sleeping in someone else's bed
And that's precisely what I love so much about you
The fact that you are even worthless than I am
We'd be great together
But none of us is crazy enough to step forward to it
Because we know it'd be too advanced for the world
So happy together, so far away, so in love, so many people in between.

I show my skin to you
You show me how you feel
You're the only one I feel so comfortable about
You have always been the only one
And yet it's fated to be a platonic thing
We hook up and fuck around
And it's perfect and we feel safe
And then I go away and you get sad
And the next day you're with someone else, and so am I.

Someday, we'll get married
And have kids
And live happily ever after
It sounds delightfully like a fairy tale
Only we will never marry each other
I'm never having your babies
You'll never be the one I'm celebrating anniversaries with
We'll always be just like we are
A sweet memory of an adventure we had
And you'll say, "We were young and reckless and didn't know what we were doing"

Despite all that
There's one thing I can't deny
I've always loved you
We are too perfect to each other to make this work
And you will always be the best sex I've ever had
And I'm too damn sorry
That the circumstances weren't different
We could have been together forever
Only forever doesn't exist.
So, keep this memory safe
Because, as long as you keep it
We'll always be together.

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